Archives for posts with tag: Gollum

We hasn’t Bloged in a long time because we’s been very busy counting our Precious Collection. We still has ONE, if you was wondering, my precious, but that’s none of your business! We only needs one! We’ll Blog later, the Precious is calling.

mine preciously,
GOLLUM

Good morning filthy fat Hobbitses of the world! This is Smeagol, hacking Gollum’s Blog again! You idiot, we’re the same person! gollum! gollum! oh yes, my Precious, we are! GOLLUM! we wasn’t hacking your blog, no, we was, um… stalking you… yes….

HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?

Does mean nasty stupid wicked trickesty fat orcses hack your websites, Posting embarrassing videos and statuses on your facebooks and Tweeting “I have a crush on Legolas” to all your followers???? Well, for starters, its probably your fault. YOURS! you is stupid and left your account open, or gave your password to some Sneak! Secondly, you should eat your fish raw, its this unhealthy fire thats rotting your brain and making you stupid and too lazy to not do that. Thirdililly, We advise that you give your passswords from all your accounts on all websites to US! we’ll keep them safe for you… yes…. also, Gollum has a lifesize copy of Legolas’s bow in his cave. I’M STILL RIGHT HERE, PRECIOUS, AND WE’RE STILL THE SAME PERSON!

Yours trully,

GoLlUm!